What can I do about my husband. He phones me all the time to see where I am, who I'm with and what I'm up to. I feel that he doesn't trust me. How should I approach the issue with him? Is there a particular reason why he is like this? Have you ever given him cause in the past to doubt you and what you say? There are two bedrocks to a good relationship – communication and trust. Without both you are in deep you-know-what. If something has happened in the past to cause him to doubt you then it is imperative that you clear it up. Apologise, talk it through, and assure him that whatever it was it will not happen again. On the other hand sometimes distrust exists in a relationship because the other party themselves has committed the negative behaviour and because they don’t trust themselves, or feel that you don’t trust them – it becomes a major issue. If that is what has happened in your situation the prescription is the same. Talk it through, try to obtain his assurances that it won’t happen again, let him know that you trust him (or are trying to rebuild trust) and explain that you would like him to stop trying to deflect the situation onto you. Lack of trust is about not feeling secure about the other person’s feelings and about the stability of your relationship. Ask your husband what it is that is making him feel unsure of your love for him. Ask what he would like you to do to eradicate those feelings and if it is reasonable then do it. However explain to him that you are finding his behaviour very difficult to deal with. Tell him exactly how it makes you feel. Mistrusted, as if you are lying, as if you don’t love him – whatever is applicable. Tell him that you don’t feel that it is fair as none of those things is true. Explain that you really do love him and this behaviour is disrespectful to you and your love.