lost-self-esteem siren lovesex Virgin Media
I am overweight and have lost all my self-esteem.
My husband says that he still fancies me and wants a loving relationship but I keep pushing him away. I don't feel sexy or attractive. What can I do to solve the situation? Sally
Dear Sally,
The first thing you can do is thank your lucky stars for your husband! I get so many letters from women who are in your situation whose husbands and partners have turned away from them leaving them with two problems to deal with: low self-esteem and loneliness.
So first be happy that you don’t have to face that and do tell your husband that you really appreciate his support.
As someone with a few extra pounds myself I know how serious battling with a weight issue can affect your self-esteem. You feel badly about your appearance, you attempt to do something about it, the results that you get aren’t what you would like, you feel down about it so you eat more – round and round and round in circles.
One of the most important phrases that I have ever heard on this topic is "it’s not what you eat it is why you eat it". For two days every time you eat something make a note of what you eat but more importantly how you were feeling when you ate it. Chances are you will see a clear pattern as to what may be pushing your buttons and give you ideas of certain situations to try to avoid.
Also for the next week go out for a walk for 20 minutes every other day. What you are trying to do is take action. Taking action towards solving any kind of issue will always make you feel better about it. It is the sitting there feeling like a helpless victim that attacks your self-esteem the most. The most successful results in weightloss tend to come to those who take the focus away from how you look and turn it to how you feel.
Nowadays there are some splendid online weightloss programmes for those who want to do something about the issue but don’t know where to start. In the meantime go and kiss that wonderful husband of yours, there's nothing like a good dose of "loving relationship" for your self-esteem.
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