I've been married for two years and although I love my husband he bores me. For the past six months I've been having an affair. Now I'm not sure what direction I'm going in or who I want to be with. Every now and then I come across a situation where I cannot decide if I want to pull my hair out or cry. Has something radically changed about your husband since you married him? Is his personality completely different than the man you presumably originally fell in love with? Or is it that your perception of what married life was going to be like is very different from what you are experiencing? Did you think about what it was going to really be like or did you assume that it was going to be like Brad and Angelina or Madonna and Guy? Sadly a lot of people now – and I don’t blame you it is the world we live in – have a slightly skewed idea as to what marriage is all about. Marriage is damn hardwork. The only thing more difficult, time consuming and monumentally 24/7 effort-inducing, is raising children. If you’re not one for backbreaking work then don’t bother with either. However, and this is the biggie – there is little to be found more rewarding than both (for most of us anyway). When you talk to people who have been married for 30 – 40 years they will all tell you it wasn’t easy – but most of them will tell you – it was certainly worth it. We live in a disposable society where the instant something looks like it isn’t working we bin it or ditch it. Your husband is a human being who you love you cannot recycle him or bin him. Yes I guess you could ditch him but that would be a shame indeed. You say you’ve been married for two years but frankly if you’ve been having an affair for 6 months of it….. In my opinion – and I very rarely say this sort of thing – end the affair immediately. It might be ‘fun’, it might be ‘exciting’ – especially in comparison to life with your ‘boring’ husband, but it isn’t right. You’ve made a commitment to a person and an idea so at least give it a bit more effort. I would say that speaking to someone at an organisation like Relate might help get to the bottom of where your dissatisfaction is really stemming from. Yes there is the possibility that you just made a wrong choice but somehow I don’t think so. Give the poor lad a decent chance and see if you make it to 30 years.