Dear Jenni...

I'm sleeping with a married man and I'm falling for him. I want to finish with him but can't seem to because he's the only one I have ever felt really loved. We have been seeing each other for bout six-months. I have never asked for anything of him and he never expects anything from me. It's not just sex - we spend hours just talking and holding each other but I know in the long run I will get hurt so I need help to let him know that we shouldn't carry on. If it gets out I know his family will be really hurt. I'm not a nasty person I just love to be loved please help.

Dear Mandy...

I could sit here and give you The 101 Reasons Not To Go Out With A Married Man but chances are you wouldn't listen. Actually I can't help myself so let me pick five at random...

1: It's not very nice and you sound like a nice girl. 2: If he is doing it to her there is a very good chance he will eventually do it to you as well. 3: When it is over you probably won't feel very good about yourself and who needs that kind of pressure? 4. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. 5. You deserve the best. OK end of sermon, let's get practical.

The most telling sentence in your letter is 'I just love to be loved'. You haven't told me your age but on the guess that maybe you're still enjoying the first flush of womanhood, so let a wise old lady give you a tip. First you must really love yourself and then you will always be loved in the "right" way. I don't mean love yourself as in "thinking you're better than everyone else" - that isn't loving yourself. Loving yourself is appreciating the wonderful person that you are and truly believing you deserve the very best. You do - and this most certainly isn't it. Good luck.